An after church discussion brought to mind a conversation about Beyonce and how she claimed that when she’s on stage, she has no idea who that person is. She doesn’t feel like herself. In real life, if she was asked to move the way she does on stage, she would fail miserably; therefore, she created this alter ego to let the spirit that encompassed her exist peacefully. Mentally, we all have these internal struggles in which there are things that we would like to do vs. what we should/could do. The demons are not physical as they would be portrayed in movies, but mental and self-influenced, and in most cases they manifest in our insecurities.I have a few dormant demons hanging around in the crevices of my mental, but I’ve learned that in order to deal fully with them I have to first begin to call it them by name. Mommy brought it to my attention that there is power in a name, and as I began to think about it, I concluded that it was true. Think about your relationships and the phases that they move through: with each title/name comes certain guidelines, restrictions, expectations. Even when titling ourselves, we begin to think and act like the name we're given. In order to face our demons and exercise them out of us, we must first be able to honestly and openly admit what they are.
Two demons that I most recently dealt with were superficiality and lust. There have been many instances when dealing with men that I’ve made myself believe that this guy was perfect for me because aesthetically he fit my “Ken” requirements. I would allow their physical features to blind me to the essence of who they really were (not saying that they were terrible people, they just were not right for me). I had found someone who met all of my physical desires and I lusted for him temporarily. Typically this guy would be tall, dark, easy on the eyes, in shape, great smile, and in my mind we’d make beautiful babies and take amazing wedding photos. We fit the standard for our wedding cake topper. I could wear my heels and he’d still be taller than me, and he would typically be begging me to jump into bed with him so he made me feel desired. Talk about wanting a man for all the wrong reasons.
I had gotten so entangled in my own selfish perversions and ideologies that I was willing to sacrifice my self-respect, self-worth, my time, the respect of the people who have proven on a daily basis how much they love me, and my relationship with our Heavenly Papa for a delusion.
Mark 16:17 states that “In My name, they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues.” It was not until I began having constant conversations with Heavenly Papa, Mommy, and anyone else who was willing to listen that I realized the only way to deal with my convictions is to name them one by one and turn them over to Heavenly Papa. Sounds simple, right. Wrong. It takes a lot of faith and a whole lot of patience to change, but I’m working on it and Heavenly Papa is working on me. When I learn to be most comfortable with him and only him, he will provide for me what my heart desires, which should only be to walk in likeness of him. Until then, I will be calling out my demons one by one, turning them over to my Lord & Savior.